Create Your Future.... If You Can Dream It, Why Not Achieve It!

Five Ways to Expand Your Mind

2007-09-07T10:51:00.000-05:00

In order to live a fulfilling life there is one thing that must be apart of the whole process and that is expanding your mind. Your brain possesses the capacity for thinking big and thinking rich, it is unlimited. You therefore must utilize your brain and the abilities it gives you. How then can you expand your mind and what should you be weary of when doing so? Here are five ways you can expand your mind:

1. Always keep in mind that there is no limit to your brains capacity.
Barring unforeseen mental defect, you possess all the elements needed for success. Scientists have said for years that we do not use about eighty percent of our brain and because of this there are areas that we have not yet tapped into. Some of us don’t even use the small portion that’s active properly. There is great creative potential within our brain, which will be there for the rest of our lives if we keep on using it. You must be aware that no matter how you think big your brain has the ability to think even bigger.

2. Increase Your knowledge.
Do not allow your brain to ‘tire’, when this happens it is usually the result of inattention, boredom, and inconsistent focus and the waning of interest. So fill your brain with information and sensation. Go back to school, attend lectures, listen carefully to what others are saying, read books on how to do things. Learn about things you know little or nothing about.

3. Learn and Develop Mental Control.
You can never hope to expand your mind and use it efficiently without taking control of it. You have to direct and discipline its activity. To take advantage of your brains capacity you must learn to concentrate and develop your memory and recall. Do not be affected too easily by or be at the mercy of what is happening in your environment. You must learn to control your reactions to things and make them what you choose them to be. Many times when we react to things we end up regretting our behaviours. As you learn and experience things you will become much more understanding, efficient, capable, knowledgeable amongst other things. As your ability for mental control grows you will also develop an understanding of yourself and others that is necessary for your growth as someone who is thinking big.

4. Feed Your Subconscious Mind Constantly.
We are all built with the ability to totally control the information that reaches our subconscious mind through our five senses yet many people do not exercise this control. You must understand that your subconscious mind is a great receptacle for information, its analysis and interpretation. Because of this unwillingness to control the subconscious mind many people experience a lifetime of pain, distress, poverty and the inability to think big much less think rich. Your subconscious mind can become a powerful leeway to conscious thinking if it is developed and used efficiently. It is your storeroom of information and if you would use it you will solve problems as you sleep. You must therefore feed your subconscious mind constantly with the things you desire.

5. Develop Your Memory.
Your memory is an ‘upper level’ function of your brain. It is only as good and as strong as the workout you give it. It has no maximum capacity except that which you give it. How you use or abuse your memory in expanding your mind will determine its extent. People who have limited memories tend to have limited imaginations and limited creative ability. They also have personal deficiency, insecurity, communication problems and minds that are retarded by negative emotions. Most of this can be eliminated by properly developing your memory. So give yourself small tests everyday, do puzzles, solve problems, read, try to recall. Develop the ability to remember faces, names, places and events. Challenge yourself to always find solutions to problems by analyzing the information at hand or after further research and increase your memory. Remember that your subconscious and conscious mind uses your stored memories to send you feedback when you need it.

In expanding your mind you are no longer placing limitations on your ability to be a success. You will begin to see that you have what it takes. Remember that the capacity of our brain is so enormous that we are yet to use it to its maximum potential.

Your Life Values: Knowing What's Important to You

2007-09-05T08:42:00.000-05:00

When you value something that means you place importance upon it, so the things that you hold dear or have a fondness or liking for can be considered a value. Your life values therefore are those things that are most important to you in your life. What you value most can be anything from money to family, to love, to success. Your values can either be one you are now pursuing, such as love, where you seek a particular emotional state. It can even be one that is a way for you to ignite the emotional states you desire.

If it is that you seek the deepest level of fulfillment in our lives then there is only one way for us to achieve it, by deciding on what it is we value most in life, what our highest value are and then making a commitment to live by these values each and every day.

It is unfortunately common for people to have no clear or specific idea of what is important to them. These folks tend to have little or no grasp of any issue, they are neither one way nor the other on anything or anyone because they fail to take a stand. How can we lay the base for a strong self-esteem and the ability to make effective decisions if we are never clear about what’s important in our lives, that which we truly stand for.

Once we know what it is that’s important to us we make decisions easily. People who are unclear about what’s important to them in their lives tend to have great difficulties making decisions. If you look around at the most respected and admired people in this world what we find is that they all are people who have a mastery of their own values, proclaim them and then lives by them. These people are all well liked and respected by all and they all will take a stand for what they believe in even if no on else agrees with their ideas about good and bad.

It is necessary to understand that our values are what directs our lives and they cause us to make decisions that takes us in a direction that leads us to our life’s destination. So it is important in our lives, whether it’s our personal or professional, that we get absolutely clear about the important things in our lives and decide once and for all to live by these values no matter what happens. We must do this regardless of whether or not life rewards for living up to our own standards yes even when bad things happen to us consistently, even when our friends and family think we are crazy and lend no support.

If you do not live by your highest ideals it is very, very, very unlikely that you will have long-term happiness. So you must at all times or as best as you can, act in line with your own beliefs about what your life is really about. Once again all of this is not possible if you are not clear about what your values are. Most of us know what we want to have in life but what we lack is the knowledge of who we want to be. Acquiring things, eventually, won’t make you feel fulfilled, you must live and do what you believe is the correct thing for you that is the only way you will gain a sense of inner peace and feel fulfilled.

One of the challenges many people have or experience in life is that they develop certain patterns off behaviour that cause them distress, frustration, and even self-distruction. Things like illegal drugs, drinking alcohol, smoking, overeating seeking excitement, controlling others to name a few. These kinds of behaviour are generally the result emptiness, anger, and frustration we feel because we do not feel fulfilled in our lives. What these people are really trying to do is to get away from those empty feelings by engaging in behaviour that will fill the gap and produced for them a ‘quick fix’ change of state.
In other words they distract themselves so that can feel better. These kinds of behaviour is repeated over and over again until it becomes a pattern causing people to concentrate on changing the behaviour and not deal with the root cause. So they don’t have a smoking problem, they have a values problem. The reason why they smoke is to change the emotional state they are in because they dislike the way they feel as each day goes by. If you don’t know your values in life then you will not be able to make any clear decision about what will meet your deepest emotional needs.

There are two types of life values, ‘result’ values and ‘how’ values. If you say you value happiness, giving, and family, then happiness will be your result value, which you are pursuing, or the emotional sate you are after. Family and giving are therefore how values, that is, they are just a way for you to set off the emotional sate you desire. You see when you value giving what you are really saying is that giving means to you feel joy, happiness and a sense of purpose which are the results you are after and hence they are what you truly value.

Many people experience great distress because they are not clear about the difference between result and how values. Often times they are too caught up going after how values and end up not achieving their true desire which are their result values. You see the result values are those that will bring you fulfillment and make your life worthwhile and satisfying.
If you were asked to list some of the feelings you would like to experience on a day-to-day basis what would you put down? Here is a list I made for myself some years ago:

1. Love
2. Intimacy
3. Success
4. Wealth
5. Freedom
6. Security
7. Comfort
8. Adventure
9. Health
10. Happiness

This list was written down and ranked in order of importance to me with one being the most important and ten the least important. Now please do not misunderstand my ranking, I am not saying that happiness is not important too, quite the contrary, it is just not as important to me as say adventure.

We all value certain emotional states more than others and so we will do more to achieve them. It is this hierarchy of values that controls how you make your decisions from moment to moment. Form my list above you will see that I value love and intimacy over adventure and happiness. For someone else it may be that they value happiness over success or security over love. How about you, in what order would you list be? Take a moment and write down your own list or use the one above and put it the order that is relevant to you. If you choose to write your own list then to discover what your values are ask yourself “What is most important for me to feel in life?”

No matter what order you put your values in one thing is for sure you are going to make your decisions differently than someone whose values are in a different order of importance. So if you value wealth as your number one value you are going to make far different decisions than someone who has happiness as their top value. Once your values are known to you then you can begin to understand why you move in the direction you are moving consistently.

Knowing the order of importance of your values also gives you insight to why you have conflicts in your life and why decisions are difficult for you. So if your top value was security and the next is adventure then you may be having conflicts because of the incompatibility of the two values.
What you choose as your top values is likely to be those that will bring you the greatest amount of happiness. It is therefore imperative that we accomplish our highest values first and understand that there’s always a way we can do them at the same time.

If you top values are not empowering, or bringing you any amount of happiness them it may be that you need to change them. These change don’t have to be major like changing your whole list of values maybe just the one that you are focusing on. So if your top value is money but you find that you are very unhappy, and the tenth value on your list is love maybe if you switch their places you may find that your life becomes much happier. It is always good to review your list of values from time to time to see if they are empowering and guiding you in the right direction.

In the same manner that you identify the top values you want to live by every day, you also want to identify those emotions that you want to get away from experiencing on a regular basis. What are those emotions you most want to avoid experiencing? Write them down and look at them. When I did mine this is what I came up with:

1. Rejection
2. Frustration
3. Guilt
4. Failure
5. Anger
6. Anxiety
7. Depression
8. Loneliness
9. Hurt
10. Inadequacy

As with the first list there are emotions that you will avoid much more than others so when you do your own list find the one you will do most to avoid experiencing and then put them in that order going down the scale to those you will do the least to avoid. Take a look at your list when you are finished, what do you have as your number one emotion to avoid? It will tell you why you make the decisions you make. If anxiety is your top such emotion then you will avoid any situation where you might fell anxious about. From my list you can see that rejection is my top get away from experience hence I would do everything to avoid it.

Now you have to be aware of the paradox that happens in life concerning your values both those you want to live up to and those you want to get away from. Consider what would happen if you had selected wealth as your top emotion to experience and disappointment as your top emotion to avoid. You would tend to experience some challenges in your life because if you want to attain wealth without going through some disappointment you are unlikely to have success in the long term. You would have sabotaged yourself and made it harder to succeed since most of us will do much more to avoid things that are painful and for things that are pleasurable.

How then do you get your values to be what the need to be in order to create the destiny you desire, become the person you always wanted to be and affect you for the rest of your life. Even though you may feel that those values you possess now are bring you some joy, what other values could you add that can bring you closer to your destiny. Also should consider what values you may want to eliminate from your list that will bring you the same result.

One key evaluation you must make is to consider each value on your list and ask yourself what benefit you get by having that value in this position on your list? Then ask yourself what will it cost me being at this position on the list. Then you ask what order does my values list have to be in order to achieve my destiny. When I did this I came up with:

1. Love
2. Health
3. Happiness
4. Passion
5. Wealth
6. Contribution
7. Learning
8. Creativity
9. Achieving
10. Adventure

These small changes to my list of to achieve experience changed my life and made me a much happier person with a lot more confidence to achieve the things I want to. By making health my number two value I began to focus on me and all the elements that made me healthy, both physically and emotionally. Am I perfect or there yet, no, I am continually working at it and exploring better ways of achieving it. Because I began to feel better and healthier I must admit I became happier as a result and that translated to how I behaved amongst other people.

Once you know your values you must use them, they are of no use to you if you don’t. Remember life continues whether we want it to or not and it will constantly test our commitment too our values and our living by them.

Change Your Paradigm for Abundance and Prosperity

2007-09-04T20:37:00.000-05:00

To demand more out of life, desire more abundance, set your sights high and aim only for the best, requires no more energy or effort than that which is used in the acceptance of, or surrender to, poverty, frustration, misery and lack. What it comes down to is your level of awareness and your ability to employ it.

Far too many people are controlled by what is going on around them in their lives. They make statements like “The bills are overdue, what am I going to do? Nobody loves me. I am poor! I will never amount to anything! Woe is me”. Statements like these tend to confine and limit them and their way of thinking. The irony, however, is that if you ask them what they want they will say they want to be free from the limitations they experience in life that prevent them from realizing their fullest potential and live the life they desire.

But no one can ever be free, realize their fullest potential, live a life of abundance and prosperity until they know and understand exactly what it is that controls, shapes and directs their behaviours and by extension the results they achieve.

Your paradigms are what controls your thinking and directs your results. Your paradigms are your ideas, your way of thinking, the habits you have developed over time, in a nutshell your mindset. The way most people view, experience and make sense of our world is done through their own paradigm window.

When you experience something, no matter what it is, your mind will quickly go through your information bank, your brain, for all the required information it can get on that particular experience and decides where it should fall in the larger scheme of things. Whether good or bad, happy or sad, needed or not. So if you have positive paradigms you will tend to possess a healthy self esteem, strong self-image, be happy and able to changes as things change. If however, you have negative paradigms you may experience lots of pain, feel stuck in your old behaviours and ways of thinking. If you desire the abundance and prosperity you deserve then you must create that change in your paradigms.

How to change your paradigm in five steps

First step. Think about and write down that one major goal, dream, or challenge that you have not yet been able to conquer in your life. Being as detailed and as specific as you can describe it, say what it is. This will help your subconscious mind to focus.

Second step. Think about and write down what you associate with the goal or aim you have chosen. Write down the thoughts that come to mind when you think of it, both the positive and the negative thoughts. These are your paradigms. To help you tap into how you think about your goal ask yourself questions like “How does this make me feel?” to make the process simpler may I suggest that you draw a line down the canter of your notepad, head up one side as “positive thoughts” and the other side “negative thought”. You then list your thoughts under the corresponding heading.

Third step. Choose from your list what you consider to be your top four most powerful negative paradigms and ask yourself “Why did I think of this? What’s the source of this feeling? How has this served me? What will it cost me and my family?” and keep asking such questions until you have a clear understanding of your paradigm.

Fourth step. Once you know and understand your negative paradigm, find or create for yourself an effective affirmation that will help you to re-programme your mind. Your affirmation must be something that is opposite to the negative paradigm. So if you have a paradigm that says that you will never be wealthy, your affirmation may be ‘I believe that I will be wealthy and I can now see my wealth before my eyes, I am drawing wealth to me, I now have the wealth I desire’.

Fifth step. Place a written copy of your affirmation where you can see it every morning and every night and be sure to read it before you go to sleep and when you arise until it is memorized. You can also write said affirmation on a 3x5 card and take it with you when you go out each day and read it as often as you can. When you read your affirmation do so with emotion and feelings.

Once you have done these steps, over time you will begin to notice that you are thinking and behaving in a different way and a whole new source of power will open up for you. Follow these five steps for each of your paradigms and watch your life become prosperous.

Your Master System

2007-08-24T11:38:00.000-05:00

Your master system is made up of those five elements that determine how you perceive everything that happens in your life. To understand it is a science and therefore governed by predictable laws and patterns. Your master system is important because it controls the way you feel and what you do every moment of your life.

Now when you understand the master system of others you will begin to tune in to the core of who they are and their systematic way of reasoning, be it your boss, spouse, child, co-worker, friend or relative. You will be able to know what drives them and understand why it is they behave the way they do and connect with them on a higher level.

Because of our individual perspective and conditioning we all evaluate what is happening to and around us differently and hence different things will be important people. We all have a way or a procedure that we go through that assists us in determining what things mean to us and what solutions we need to employ in almost every situation we may face in life.

Consider a situation in which you are making a presentation to a prospective buyer and the slides you have cued up won’t show because the projector won’t work. You continue with your presentation without them and when you are finished you say to yourself “I blew it”. But from the buyer’s perspective it was a great presentation. Why the difference in viewpoints? People react this way because when something bad happen they begin to crucify themselves and in some cases in a brutal way. At this point no matter what they do they would never be able to give a good presentation.

People who are successful in life or who have mastered anything tend to make superior evaluations in those areas of expertise. So people like Michael Jordan evaluate how a game is going and his opponents manner of playing to be able to play as well as he did. You see if there is someone who is doing better than you are in any area of life, it is because they have a superior way of evaluating what things mean and what they must do about it.

The challenge for us all will be to develop and take control of our ability to evaluate our lives and everything in it, so that we are consistently guided to make choices that will produce the results we desire. To be able to do this we must first understand the five elements of our master system:

The State You Are In
The mental and emotional state you are in when you are making an evaluation determines your response to what is happening to you. So if someone tells you that you are pretty or handsome, at certain times, when you are in a good sate, you will feel pretty or handsome. At other times, when you are not in a good or receptive state, the same compliment is made you will feel the opposite. It is very important, therefore, when making evaluations that your decisions about what things mean and what to do are made when you are in a very resourceful state of mind rather than a negative unresourceful state.

The Questions You Ask Yourself
When something happens in your life your brain begins to evaluate it by asking questions such as “What is going on? What does this situation mean? Will it cause me distress or pleasure? What actions can I take now to avoid, reduce or eliminate this distress and get some pleasure?” So if you were considering applying for a particular job, whether you apply or not is determined by your evaluations. The specific questions you ask yourself as you contemplate applying for the job will greatly affect your evaluations. If you ask yourself questions like “It would be fantastic if I get this job, wouldn’t it? I am more than qualified for this job aren’t I?” chances are you will feel more motivated to apply for it. But what if your questions were “what if I am not qualified enough? What if they don’t even bother to consider my application? What if after I go to an interview they reject me?” Chances are these kinds of questions will cause you to evaluate things in such a way you won’t even bother to apply.

Your Value System
As we go through life we all tend to value certain emotions more than others. We either want to experience pleasure or more away from distress and with this in mind we develop a ‘program’ for what means distress and what means pleasure. These programs are present in our value system. Consider this, you go through life associating pleasure to the idea of being successful, yet another person may associate great distress to the same idea because they have noticed that their successful family member and friends are very unhappy and in some cases committed suicide. The values you choose will mold each and every decision you make in life. All your decisions you make boils down to the level of clarity you have about what you value most within a particular situation.

Your Beliefs
A belief is a sense of certainty about something. Your beliefs are your sense of certainty about things in our lives. Things like how to feel and what to expect from life, from ourselves, and from people in general. You also have beliefs about what has to occur for us to feel that what you value is being satisfied. Your beliefs tend to control what you are willing to evaluate and also determines your expectations.

Your Experiences
Everything you have ever experienced real or imagined in your life is stored in your brain. These experiences form the reference point from which most of, if not all, your beliefs are developed and by which our decisions are guided. Whenever we are deciding what something means to us, we tend to compare it to something, usually a past experience. We all have a reservoir of experiences we can use when making decisions but which experience we employ will determine what meaning you get from any experience, how you truly feel about it, and ultimately what action you take.

Once you make a change in just one of these five elements of your master system it will dramatically affect how you think, feel and behave in different areas of your life concurrently. You will find that you won’t even consider certain evaluations anymore, certain questions you won’t ask, and you won’t accept certain beliefs anymore

Emotions - What is Your Negative Emotions Saying to You?

2007-08-14T16:48:00.000-05:00

Every one of us has at sometime or another experienced what is called negative emotions. These emotions are seen by many as a signal that something is not the way it should be and hence a call to action. Your negative emotions are sending you a message but many of you have no idea what the message is and what it means. Each negative emotion has within it a positive message, which you must find.

There are ten basic negative emotions and each emotion has a message you must figure out if you want to live the life you desire. These ten negative emotions are:

1. Anger.

When you are angry you will feel anything from being irritated to being furious, upset or even total rage. The message anger is sending you is that some very important standard or present rule you have for your life has being trampled upon by someone, some event, or even by you. The solution is to recognize that you may be misinterpreting the situation completely. It could be that your anger exists because someone has violated your rules not knowing what’s important to you and the rules you have for yourself. Consider also that your rules or standards may not be the correct ones to have, despite how right you think and believe they are. It’s important also too ask yourself more empowering questions. So ask yourself “Over time is it really true that my friend really cares about me?” You can also ask, “ What is there for me to learn from this?” How do I let this person know how important these standards of mine are to me and in a manner that will make them want to come to my aid and not infringe on them in the future?

If you find yourself angry change how you think of the situation, it could be that whoever it is that made you angry did not know of your rules or that you underestimated the likelihood of an event happening. It could be that you did not effectively communicate what your true needs are or that you did not plan appropriately. You could start letting people know immediately know what your rules or needs are or being more detail and specific about your plans.

2. Frustration.

Frustration is defined as ‘being prevented from carrying out your plans or purpose’. In life there are many sources of frustration, generally however, frustration occurs when we feel like we are making the effort to accomplish something but we feel like we have too many hurdles in our way or no rewards are forthcoming. What this emotion is saying to you is that you believe you could be doing much better than you are presently.

Frustration is a signal that what you are presently doing is not working and you need to change your approach in order to get to your goal. It is signaling to you, your need to look at other alternatives.

The solution for frustration is to come up with new ideas of how to get the result you desire. Find someone who has what you want and mimic what they did to get it. If you can’t find someone then search for information elsewhere, in books, on television, library, on tapes, videos and even in counseling.

3. Discomfort.

These emotions tend not to be intense yet they irritate us and let us know that something is not what it should be. It could be that how you are looking at things is off, or maybe your actions are not producing the results you desire.

To solve the problem of discomfort you need to 1) be clear on what you want, 2) try a different approach and see if you can right away change the way you are feeling about the situation or the results you are getting, 3) change the state of mind you are presently in, choose a positive state of mind.

4. Hurt.

This is the premier emotion that seems to dominate our relationships both personal and professional. Whenever you feel hurt it is usually created by a sense of loss. It is common for people to lash out at others when they feel hurt. Yet the signal that feeling hurt is sending you is that we have an expectation that has not been met.

What you need to do is 1) take the time to re-evaluate what’s happening and ask yourself “Am I really feeling loss here or am I rushing to judgment or am I judging the situation too harshly?” 2) Understand the maybe it is that you have not lost anything, it could be that you need to loose you false perceptions that you are the target of hurt. It could be that they are unaware of the effects their actions on you and your life. 3) In a sensitive manner try to communicate your feeling of loss to whomever has hurt you. You can say to them “When you shout at me I feel like you don’t care and have a sense of loss. Can you tell me what’s happening?” By changing how you communicate and getting clarity on what’s happening what you’ll find is that the hurt ends to disappear quickly.

5. Fear

The fear emotion is one that includes feelings of concern, intense worry, anxiety, fright and even terror. When you feel fear what you are feeling is the anticipation that something that needs to be prepared for is going to happen soon. Many people try to deny their fear or choose to wallow in it. Never surrender to fear and make it bigger than it really is by focusing on the worst outcome, also do not pretend it doesn’t exist.

To deal with your fearful feelings you need to 1) identify what it is you are fearful about and then think of what you must do to prepare yourself mentally 2) then decide what actions you need to take to handle the situation in the most satisfying way.

There are times, however, when we have done all we can do to prepare, but we still find ourselves fearful. At this point we must decide to have faith, with the knowledge that we have done everything we can to prepare for whatever it is we’re fearing and that most of the fears we have rarely come to past.

6. Guilt.

Guilt and similar emotions like remorse and regret is one of that most persons try to avoid. This is so because they are amongst the more painful of emotions to experience. What your guilt is telling you is that you have violated one of your own high standards or rules and you must take action right now to make sure you won’t violate that standard or rule again.

Many people try to handle their guilt by pretending it’s not there or just suppressing it all together. This, however, hardly works as the guilt doesn’t dissipate but comes back even stronger. At times you may have done something and the guilt you feel immobilizes you and you wallow in it with great remorse and end up feeling inferior for a very long time. This is not the message guilt is sending you, no, no it is their to guide you away from doing things that will lead to guilt.

Guilt is dealt with by 1) acknowledging the fact that you have violated a particular standard you have for yourself, 2) totally commit yourself to eliminating that behaviour once and for all 3) run through your mind how you would have handled the situation, where you would feel guilty, differently and hold on to the belief that it will never happen again. In the end you will realize that you can let go of the guilt.

7. Disappointment.

Whenever you feel disappointment you are actually feeling let down, or that you are about to totally miss out on something. If you were expecting more than you have gotten and end up feeling sad or defeated then you are experiencing disappointment.

Disappointment is try to tell you that an expectation you had is likely not to happen so now you need to change your expectations to make them appropriate for the situation and then set and go after a new goal right away.

The solution to disappointment is to 1) find what it is you can learn from the situation that can aid you in the long run to achieve that which you where seeking in the beginning 2) come up with a new goal that will inspire you much more than the last one and make it something you can move towards and make progress on right now 3) consider that you may be jumping to conclusions too soon, it could be that our disappointment is only a temporary challenge 4) develop more patience, maybe the situation is not over just yet. All you need is a more effective plan for achieving your goal 5) one powerful way to deal with disappointment is to develop a positive expectancy attitude about what will happen in the future, in spite of your past history.

8) Overwhelmed.

This happens whenever we see our world in such a way that we end up feeling like there’s too much going on or happening, than we can deal with.

The solution is 1) decide on what is the most important thing that you have doing right now that you need to focus on. 2) write down everything that is most important for you to accomplish and prioritize them 3) then begin to take on the first item on your list and do what you need to do to master it. Once you have mastered the first item you move on to the next one, master it and move on until you have completed the list. You will, as you go through the list, begin to feel in control and not overwhelmed. You will also realize that the problem is not permanent and that you can come up with solutions.

9) Inadequacy.

If you feel you are unable to do something you should be able to do you are likely to be feeling inadequacy or unworthy. If you are feeling this way it means that right now at this moment you don’t possess the level of skill necessary for the task. You need more information, tools, understanding and possibly strategies.

Conquering inadequacy requires that you 1) question your perceptions ask “am I expressing the right emotion for this situation?” “Do I really believe I’m inadequate or should I modify the way I perceive things 2) tell yourself that you are not ‘perfect’ and you will never be and don’t need to be. Commit yourself to improving this area 3) find someone who is more effective in the area where you feel inadequate, a role model, and mimic what they are doing or get them to coach you.

10). Loneliness.

This covers things that make you feel alone, separated or apart from others. It tells us that we need to connect with people. This connection should not be an intimate or sexual one for you are likely to end up feeling frustrated and lonely still.

Loneliness is handled by 1) recognizing that you can end loneliness by reaching out and connecting with someone 2) figure out the kind of connection you need e.g. whether a friendship or just someone who will listen to you 3) take action right now to reach out and connect with someone.

All these ten emotions have within them positive messages and a signal that we must take action to change the situation. Use this list, review it as often as you can and keep looking for the positive messages that each signal is sending you and the corresponding solution you can employ in the future.

How to Establish Patterns of Excellence: The Seven day mental Challenge

2007-08-10T17:04:00.001-05:00

If you want to launch your life into the next level you must first realize that to get to where you want to go the same pattern of thinking that got you to where you are now will no longer work. Many of you resist change because you believe that what are currently doing is working just fine getting you to the success you now enjoy. This is great if you are satisfied with you success but reality dictates that you will need a new way of thinking if you want to experience a new level of professional and personal success.

To do this you must take control of what our mind is focusing on by breaking through the barriers of our fears. You cannot allow your mind to be affected and controlled by those momentary problems that pop up from time to time these patterns must be broken permanently. Once this is done you replace the old patterns with a commitment to focus on, seek out solutions and revel in the process. You need to establish patterns of excellence.

It is important that we pay attention to and notice when we are about to engage in a negative pattern and not get caught up in it, nor dwell on it nor crucify ourselves about it. What you must do is too simply break the pattern as quickly as it occurs or as we find them and place new empowering patterns in their place.

How then do you break these patterns when they arise? Here is a very simple plan to do just that and also help you to condition the new empowering patterns of excellence and make them permanent.

1) Decide what it is you really want.
2) Find plenty of reasons why you must change now.
3) Disrupt the limiting pattern

To disrupt the limiting patterns the most effective way to do it is to spend some time focusing on taking conscious control of your thoughts. Call it a “Mental Cleanse” as it is about erasing the destructive and negative patterns of thinking and feeling that we have developed through years of reacting emotionally and in an undisciplined mental manner. So do a mental cleanse, take the Seven day mental Challenge.

The Seven day Mental Challenge
Criteria 1
For the next seven days commit yourself to taking full control of all your mental and emotional faculties by deciding right now that you will not indulge in or dwell on any unresourceful thoughts or emotions for seven consecutive days. This also applies to the words that come out of your mouth and the internal conversations you have with yourself.

Make no mistake, for most of you this will not be easy and you will be surprise to find out just how often you engage in negative thinking.

Criteria 2
Should you find yourself beginning to indulge in negative thoughts, you must immediately focus on more positive and resourceful way of being in spite of the situation and what may be happening to you at that moment. To help you with this I suggest that you ask yourself what I call “Solution Questions” like “What’s good about this situation?” “What needs to be changed?” One thing I do when faced with negative thoughts is to think about and focus on the way I would like things to be. I do this to the point where I would begin to see the end result I envision. I do not fool myself as if the situation will just disappear no, no, no, I focus on the end result I desire because it puts me in a resourceful state.

Another thing you can do is to set yourself up for an empowering and resourceful way of thinking for the day. You do this by asking yourself certain empowering questions like “What am I thankful about in my life?” “What makes me excited about my life?” “What makes me happy about my life?” The questions you use should be designed to help you experience joy, happiness, gratitude, love, appreciation and excitement each day. Do the same thing in the evenings by asking yourself about the day that has passed. Questions like “What did I do today that made my life better?” “What did I learn today?” You can come up with you own positive questions.

Criteria 3
Focus entirely on solutions and not on the problems that arise. So when a hurdle pops on seek out the solution immediately before it gets too big to handle quickly.

Criteria 4
Should you fall off the boat and find yourself indulging in negative thoughts or feelings, don’t worry yourself too much. Just make a change quickly, find the solution. If however your negative thoughts or feelings linger for too long say three minutes then you have to start the challenge all over again the following morning. Remember this is a seven-day challenge so if you go six days without holding a negative thought and on the seventh day you have a persistent negative thought you must start the process all over again.

The criterion for the challenge is simple but it will not be easy for most you must however persist until you nail it. You should not at any time engage in this seven-day challenge if you are harbouring any doubts about being totally committed to it. You must be certain that you are willing to live by and stick to it for the seven days. If you do not begin with a total commitment in mind you will not make it to the seventh day.

The payoffs of sticking to the seven-day challenge are likely to be many but at least three things are like to happen to you. Firstly you will become more aware of the way in which you consistently look at things and the mental outlook that may be hampering your growth. Secondly it will cause you to begin to seek out much more empowering ways to deal with situations and emotions which in turn will give you a confidence boost as you become a solutions person. Thirdly once new habits and ways of thinking are formed, you will begin to create a bigger vision of and for yourself.

When you commit and follow through with the challenge you will be breaking away from those disempowering habits that have imprisoned you. Never be a slave to your emotions nor your environment. By controlling your responses to events and your emotions you will find that new ideas, solution and expectation will suddenly appear, it will be easier to be calm, creative, and engage in consistent action.

Now, bear in mind that it’s possible to do this challenge and it’s going to be hard for most of you so commit to it totally. You are one who has to make it work if you desire new patterns of excellence. In the long run this may turn out to be the catalyst that causes you to begin to consistently have a positive focus forming a life long habit. You should use the Seven-Day Mental Challenge as often as you can to ensure that you continually establish patterns of excellence.

Goals: How You Create a Fulfilling Future

2007-08-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

Let me ask you a question, “What is your vision for your future?” Can you truthfully answer and if you can, is it one that will draw you to it like a magnet even through those tough times. Many people in life know what it is they should do, but they never do it. Why? One reason is that they lack the drive that only a fulfilling future can provide. It’s time to burst out our box and begin to dream at a top level, to think up crazy and unusual possibilities and maybe you will find something that can take your life to a level you never dreamed of.

To create a fulfilling future and live the kind of life we desire for ourselves we must have potent goals. You will never find the drive you need if your goals are not exciting. Once you find your goals exciting, they will keep you up late at night and get you up in the mornings raring to go, they will inspire you to effectively use your innate resources and everything you can find within your reach to bring them to reality.

When people say that they don’t have any or that setting goals is a waste of time, what they don’t understand is that according to how our minds work it is always going after something even if it is just to reduce the anxiety you feel day to day or to increase the joy we feel some days. Every one of us has goals it’s just that we are all not consciously directing the use of our resources to achieving them. For many people their goals are to ‘get by in life’ or what is called survival goals, these kind of goals will never give you the power to tap into the reserve of creativity and unlimited potential within you to design the life you want.

To tap into the unlimited possibilities that lie within us we must find a goal big enough and strong enough to cause us to go outside our limits and find our true potential. Keep in mind that where you are now in life is in no way a reflection of your innate potential, it is merely about the quality and size of the goals upon which you are presently focusing.

Once you set large goals they will appear impossible for you to achieve. An important step in goal setting is to find a goal big enough to inspire us. Your goals must be something that will make you let your power show. In order to achieve whatever seemingly impossible goals we have and be inspired during the process we must put aside those limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, and what is possible for us to achieve.

When you set your goals you are taking the first step in turning the dream into reality and creating a fulfilling future. Once you truly set a goal, providence will comes to your aid working with your own intensely emotional thoughts to create your ideal situation. You therefore are able to design the life you want through the thoughts you continually put out each second of your life.

Do you realize that all the commodities, technological product, and other developments we now enjoy once existed only in the minds of the people who created them. The light bulb started out as an idea in Thomas Edison’s mind other products alike the airplane, computers, the internet, websites, search engines were all just crazy thoughts in someone’s mind. All of these inventions and development were created and brought into existence amidst beliefs that said it could not be done. What if the Wright brothers had listened to the naysayers, we all would not be able to travel by plane now. So no matter how crazy your goals seem to be to other or even to you it is possible to achieve them.

You may be thinking all this so far is too philosophical and is for other people, setting goals you think really doesn’t change anything nor cause thoughts to become real. Well let me be frank here, setting a goal is not and can never be the be all and end all of the process, no, no. Any goal you set for yourself must be immediately followed by a plan of how you are going to achieve it and then all out consistent and persistent action directed toward it’s attainment. A simple process, but hard one to execute for many.

Why then do people not set goals? What’s preventing from doing so? Many of you have read all the self help books, many with special chapters on goal setting so you have an idea of what goal setting can do for you. Chances are you do not have well clarified goals about the end results you would like to create in you life. What may have halted many of you is that you have a subconscious fear of being disappointed. For many people when they have set goals in the past and failed to attain them, the pain of the disappointment and the fear of it happening again in the future cause them to stop setting goals. These folks are afraid to set goals with any high expectation of them coming to past least they do not and they end up being devastated. Then there are those people who will set a goal and crucify themselves by staking their own existence and joy on being able to achieve them even though the attainment of the goal may be beyond their control.

It must be said here that just because you set yourself a goal means that you will achieve it, for life has a way of presenting to you, as you head towards your goal, other worthwhile and better goals. At times like this you may just decide to go with one of them because they inspire more. At times if you fail to achieve your goals you end up achieving your life’s goals (your real goals). A friend of mine once had a goal of being a physiotherapist; she applied and was accepted into a university studying physiotherapy. She flunked out after her second year and had taken a job as a customer service/marketing agent. You will not find a happier person alive, she loves her job to the point where she eat sleeps and walks it. When she speaks about her job I feel like I would want to do it.

It is also prudent to realize that when you are in pursuit of your goals that life goes on. The sun will rise and set at about the same time each day, flowers will bloom, seasons will come and go, the children will grow up. All these things will happen whether we achieve our goals or not. So it is important to know that achieving the goal can never be the only thing that matters in your like, it is also the quality of life you live whilst pursuing it.

There are many people who see goal setting as something for some day in the future when something else has happened, like achieving something. After that has happened then they will set and seek their goals, after that has happen they will be able to enjoy their life. These people are going through life putting off their joy and happiness. Goals are great to have but we must also work to live every day to it’s fullest. So instead of seeing your success or failure in life in terms of your ability to achieve a particular goal. It is necessary to know that it’s the direction that you are heading which is far, more important than the results. For we may achieve the goals we are pursuing and much much more if we continue to head in the right direction. Missing your dream may lead you to your future.

This does not mean that if you are pursuing your goals and you come upon some initial failure or frustration that you should just stop chasing you goals and try another one. You will never achieve a goal by being interested in it’s achievement, you simply must be totally committed to it. You must be persistent. Persistence determines who will win. The key to achieving goals is the resolving to commit to being constant and consistent in your actions towards the goal.

Far too often many people are too fearful that they will fail and because of this they never begin to pursue a goal. Many still give up far too soon after they start pursing their goal. They may have been on the right track going in the right direction to achieve what they want but because it’s not happening fast enough they quit, if only they had the patience and the persistence. Change your approach if you have to as is necessary but never give up on your ultimate goal.

So what are you going to do now in order to take your dreams to the realm of reality? Get a sheet of paper and for each major area of your life (e.g. career, relationships, money, adventure) write down what your dreams are. Ask yourself constantly “What kind of life would I want if I could have it the way I wanted?” “What would I go after if failure was not a possibility?” Now when doing this you must do a couple of thing 1) put off you need to know just how you are going to achieve them 2) never doubt your capability nor question it. You have to be in a state of mind where you have pure faith and the expectation that you can create anything you wanted.

Next you are going to put a time line on each of your major goals be it one year, or ten years write it down. Once again do not worry about how you are going to do it nor whether the time line is long enough. It is your commitment to achieving your goal that is important.

Now that you have your goals and have stet your time line you now have to choose your top one-year goal and write down all your reasons why your are committed to achieving this goal in the time line you have specified. Write down as many reasons as you can think of and make them strong enough so that they can move you, give you the drive and get you excited at a deeper level about the process.

It’s important at this point to make sure you look on your goals day in and day out. Display them where you can see them every day, be it on a sheet of paper stuck to the mirror in your bedroom, in your diary. Everywhere and anywhere is good as long as you can see it. Be committed to doing something each day towards the attainment of your goal you are likely to make headway each day.
This next process may seem way out there but you must do it because it works. At least once a day (three times a day is preferable) see yourself as already in possession of the goals and experience the joy you will feel on a deep emotional level. This consistent focus will cause you to feel a sense of certainty that your desires will be attained and hence your actions will ensure your success.

It is important to understand that your goals are just a means to an end and not what our life is about. Goals aid us in focusing our attention towards a particular desire, they help us in our personal growth. In the long term achieving goals by themselves will never make us happy. It is who we become through the process of achieving our goal that gives us the greatest, deepest and long lasting sense of fulfillment. So ask yourself “What kind of person must I become in order to attain my goal?” what skills do I need to learn? What kind of clothes should I wear? What kind of attitude must I have? What other areas do I need to develop in order to live my dreams? Write it all down.

The most important step in setting your goal is your follow through. Many people set goals and all they remain is a something that was written on a sheet of paper because they never followed through. Once you have set your goals you absolutely must take some form of positive action towards its achievement, immediately. You actions can be as simple as thinking up the name of the business you want to start, or doing some research on home financing for that home you want to buy.

Another crucial element in the whole goal setting process is that whenever you find that you are about to achieve a goal it is important that you begin to set up the next set of goals. If you don’t you may experience a kind of let down and end up asking yourself “Is that all there is?” because you don’t see anywhere else to go from there. Some people even end up in deep depression after achieving their goals. So it is important that you set highly compelling goals to guarantee a smooth transition from completion to new inspiration and a continued commitment to personal growth. If your original goal is the ultimate goal for you then it can be difficult to have the commitment and drive to go outside our comfort zone and pursue a new goal. But we can do so by giving of ourselves to others, as contribution is a powerful way of living and can inspire us for a lifetime.

In your drive towards your goals it is always good and a smart thing to figure out from the beginning what roadblocks you may face on the way. What out there or within you that may prevent from attaining your goal and do something to deal with them right away rather that later.

A compelling future creates a high level of personal growth. It is a necessity that allows you to set out and achieve that which you desire. You will have a sense of control over your destiny, and experience joy, excitement and growth as you go along the way giving your life meaning. Now go set some goals and do something to achieve them.

Mastering Your Emotions: Feelings the Truth

2007-08-08T11:18:00.000-05:00

The word emotion is derived from the Latin word meaning “to move out” or “to excite” and Psychologist define emotions as ‘ physiological changes and conscious feelings of pleasantness or unpleasantness aroused by external and internal stimuli that leads to behavioural reactions’ (Davis and Palladino: Psychology 2nd ed.). Simply put your emotions are what you are feeling at any given moment no matter what is happening to you and it makes you react and behaviour in certain appropriate ways.

Many persons feel that their emotions are not in their control. They believe that they are slaves to their emotions and that they are just reacting to the events of their lives. There are even those who fear their emotions as if it is some great big tyrant. In an effort to avoid feeling certain emotions many people do things like turn to drugs, alcohol, overeating, sex and even get into a paralyzing depression.

Most of us handle emotions in four common ways:

Denial.
We all use this strategy at some point. It generally it occurs when we try to disassociate from our feelings by saying things like “ it really doesn’t hurt that bad” Yet we keep holding on to how terrible things are, or how no matter what we do and how perfect we do them things will always turn out wrong, and why does this always happen to us. If you have done this, what you are doing is focusing on the wrong thing by the disempowering questions you keep asking yourself. You see when you experience an emotion and then try to pretend it’s not there you create more pain for yourself. So by ignoring the signals your emotions are trying to send you, you will never be able to make things better. If you ignore these signals the emotions will only just increase their intensity and will keep intensifying until you finally decide to attend to it.

Avoidance
This is another approach we all use as we try to avoid those painful emotions we experience. As we do this we also tend to avoid any situation that may lead to the emotions we that fear. So if you far being criticized, then you would try to avoid any situations that would lead to you being criticized. You will shy away from certain relationships or even from applying for certain challenging jobs. When you deal with emotion in this manner you are setting yourself up for a big trap, because although avoiding negative situation may protect you in the short-term, it keeps you from feeling the sense of achievement, being praised, the approval and success you desire most. Ultimately what you’ll learn is that you can’t avoid feeling.

Indulgence
Many of us tend to get to a point where we stop fighting our painful emotions and decide to just totally indulge in them. We submerge ourselves in them so deep that instead of learning the positive messages our emotions are trying to give us we make it so intense that we end up making it worse. We then begin to say things like “if you think things are hard for you, let me tell you how hard it is for me” It’s as if the emotion become an integral part of who we are and what makes us unique. We then begin to take pride in being worse off than anyone else. This approach tends to end up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy with the person having a vested interest in feeling bad all the time and that’s when they are truly trapped.

Making emotions work for us
If you want you life to work it’s imperative that you make your emotions work for you. Do not run or hide from them, do not fool yourself about them or what they mean and never allow them to run or control your life. Your emotions whether positive or negative are like a map with directions pointing you towards the actions you need to take to get to your desired goal.

You must comprehend the truism that your emotions are there to serve you and until you see that you can never effectively use your emotions. To create the results you desire for a higher quality of life you must learn from your emotions and in turn use them to that end. Your negative emotions therefore are really a call to action, a signal that something needs to be done. The moment you begin to be familiar with signals your emotions are sending you and the messages there in, your emotions will also begin to aid you. You will be guided through highs and lows of this life and once you learn to use these signals you’ll begin to have the confidence to experience all the wealth you are capable of. It is therefore necessary to master your emotions and use them to your advantage

How to Master Your Emotions.
The first thing you need to do when mastering your emotions is to know your true feelings. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you don’t even know what you’re truly feeling? All you know is that negative emotions and feelings seem to be swarming through you. Interrupt this pattern by stepping back for a moment and just ask yourself “What am I truly feeling at this moment?” if your fist thought is that “I’m frustrated” ask yourself right away “Am I truly frustrated or is it something else?” “Could it be that what I am feeling is disappointment?” By simply taking a moment to figure out what you are truly feeling and questioning and challenging your emotions you will be able to lessen the intensity of the emotion you’re experiencing and hence be able to deal with the situation much quicker. You’ll also find it easier to learn from the emotion.

Next you must admit and give value to your emotions, because they anchor you. Many of us have had those moments when we make our emotions wrong. This is something you should never do, as it is a sure way of blocking true communication with your inner self and even with other persons. What you must do is be grateful and thankful that your brain is sending you signals of support urging you to take action to change your perceptions or something in your life even you present actions. By trusting your emotions even when you don’t understand them and knowing that they are there to support you in making positive changes, you will begin to end the internal wars you have with yourself. You’ll then begin to seek out and move towards the simpler solutions.

You then have to be eager to learn what your emotions are saying to you. Do not just accept your emotions on face value for sometimes what you presently feel is really about something else. When you become eager to learn what your emotions are saying to you, you will begin to master them, which in turn assists you in solving the challenge and prevent the said problem from reoccurring. So if you find yourself feeling rejected, for example, ask yourself “could I be misinterpreting the situation to mean I’m not good enough when in reality I am using one instance to make my determination?” “What if I approached other persons who may be accepting of me?” “Is my feeling rejected a message that I need to take action to change how I present myself? Ask yourself the following four questions when questioning what your emotions are saying to you:
1. What is it that I truly want to feel?
2. To feel the way I have been feeling what would I have to believe?
3. To create a solution and handle this right now what am I willing to do?
4. Is there anything I can learn from this?
5. What actions can I take now?
You answers to these questions will help you to learn about your emotions and their uniqueness each time they occur.

It’s very important that you believe you can do it, that you can deal with this emotion right now. The simplest, most powerful and quickest way to handle an emotion is to recall an instance in the past when you felt a similar emotion and recognize that you had successfully handled it before. If you dealt with it in the past then it is possible that you can deal with it again right now. Think about how you dealt with your emotions in the past and use this as your guide for what you can do right now to change how you feel. What was your process back then? Did you change your perception, what you focused on, and the questions you asked yourself? Do the same things right now believing that it will work just as it did before. So if you’re feeling lonely, for example, and you were able to turn it around in the past, ask yourself “What did I do back then?” Did you take action by calling up some of your friends and staying in touch with them thereafter? Did you visit your friend at their home? Whatever you did in the past try them out right now and you will likely get similar results.

Next you have to be sure you can handle the emotion in the future. To do this you need a great plan to do so. One method you can use is to remember the way you have handled it in the past and rehearse handling those situations where this negative emotion would come up in the future. You will have to use visualization to hear, feel and see yourself handling the situation with ease. By doing this over and over again with some emotional intensity will cause your behaviour to be set in such a way you will easily deal with the challenge. You can also write down a couple of other ways (at least four of them) you can change your perceptions when negative emotions arises. Do this also for ways you can change how you communicate your feelings and your needs and also for ways you could change the actions you were taking in this particular situation.

The next step is to take action. It makes no sense to go through the first five steps and not take immediate action, you would have wasted your time and nothing would have changed. So once you believe you can handle an emotion take action immediately to prove to yourself that you can handle it.

These six steps can help you master any emotion that may arise in your day-to-day life. Practice using these steps as often as you can it may seem hard at first but the more you do them the better and simpler it will become for you. It is important that you realize that the best time to deal with an emotion is when you first start feeling it. So don’t delay in applying the six steps and save yourself the distress.

Whatever you Concentrate on becomes your Reality: The Power of Focus

2007-08-08T11:17:00.001-05:00

To concentration upon something, whether real or imagined, is to focus on it. To focus on something is to attend to it or simply put, to pay intense attention to it. You and I if we wanted to could get sad at a moments notice, couldn’t we? Yes we could and we can do this just by concentrating on something we may have experienced in our past that made us sad. If you focus on something enough, picture it and think about it soon you will begin to feel it. The same is true for things that have not happened yet.

How you feel about things and the meaning you attach to a particular experience is all dependent on your focus. So how you feel about food and your feeling of pleasure when you eat is so because your focus is on eating for pleasure and comfort.

Focus must never be considered true reality simply because it’s just one view, one perception of the way things really are. Consider this, one day you get into a bus and see a young woman crying, we are likely to believe that she is sad or had some bad news or bad experience. You approach her and ask what’s wrong only to be told she just got the job of her dreams and that’d why she’s crying ‘tears of joy’; she is still in disbelief about getting the job. You see, because you were focused on her tears and what crying generally means we were sad for her, until we learnt the truth. So how you feel is based strictly on what you focus on.

What if one day your eleven-year-old son or daughter didn’t arrive home from school at their usual time? Fifteen, thirty, forty-five minutes passes, how you feel is going to be determined by what you focus on. Do you begin to think in your mind that the reason they are so late getting home is because something dreadful has happened to them or maybe the bus broke down and another bus is picking up the stranded passengers and that takes time? Whichever situation you focus will directly affect your emotions. What if you had gotten upset with them and you then found out that they had soccer practice and you had forgotten about it? So be careful what you focus on as it determines how you feel.

It’s important to note that when we change our focus many times we don’t change our direction right away. There is often a lag time between when you change your focus and when your experiences and your body catch up. So we need to quickly start concentrating on what we want and not wait.

Your focus determines whether your perception of your reality is a good or a bad one and whether you feel happy or sad. So it’s important to learn ways to make sure you condition your focus to be as positive as it can be. You must take control of your mind and discipline or else it will play tricks on you.

To control your focus the simplest and most powerful way is by asking yourself some potent questions. You see, whatever you ask it your brain provides you with an answer and whatever you are looking for you will find it, but only if you ask. The more empowering the question, the more empowering the answer will be. So instead of asking, “Why did I fail my exam?” Where you are focusing on your exam failure, consider asking, “What do I need to do to get the grade I want?” this will bring to you a more empowering answer. It is very important to always use questions as a tool too change your life. They can literally change the way you feel about anything and hence change the direction of your like very quickly.

Psychologists will tell you that it’s not only what we focus on but also how we experience the world, which is dependent on how we gather information via the use of our five senses. We all have a tendency to develop and favour a particular way of focusing. Some of us are more visually impacted so what we see influences us more. Other people are more auditory, where sounds trigger our life experiences. These modes of experiences have within them specific elements of sounds, pictures, and other sensations that can be modified so as to increase or decrease the intensity of our experience. These elements are called submodalities. So we can create a musical rhythm in our minds and then take any part of that rhythm (a submodality) and change it to change your feelings about it. We can change the loudness of the drums in the rhythm, immediately changing the amount of intensity you feel about the experience.

By manipulating submodalities you can raise or lower your intensity of feeling about anything. This is so because they affect your feeling about most things be it happiness, sadness, or pain. When you have an understanding of submadalities you will be able to change how you feel about anything you experience in life and also change what It means to you and by extension what you can do about it.

You must discipline your mind and what you are thinking and also the way you are thinking if you would live a better life.

Your Personal Development Plan

2007-08-08T11:11:00.001-05:00

To help ensure success in life it is good for every one of us to have a personal Development Plan (PDP) to guide us along life’s road. Your Personal development is not a destination, you’ll never get ‘there’ wherever ‘there’ is. Your personal development is ongoing so as you accomplish or master one area of your life you will move onto the next level or expand that area.

Many people have a ‘mental block’ when it comes on to addressing problems about themselves and fact there are those who are terrified about taking time and thinking about any such problem. These folks find it much much easier to work on a project or to help someone else to solve their own problems but won’t even consider addressing their own. For this reason and others it is important that we all have a PDP.

Based on your current situation and role, a PDP will help to prioritize the most important areas of your life that you need to concentrate on and will point you in the right direction for further advice and training.

Identifying Areas that need development.
When constructing your PDP I suggest you begin by identifying the areas in your life that need attention. It can be challenging to identify areas of your life that need development especially if you are not in tune with who you are, what you desire, what you have and don’t have. You have to be aware of where you life is now in terms of what’s working and what’s not and also what you are ignoring totally. Just because you have tried in the past to develop certain areas of your life and failed doesn’t mean you cannot be successful in the future, the timing may be wrong.

For many of us our personal development goals are just not strong enough, they have no ‘humph’ in them, no great desire behind them so we keep changing them from day to day or year to year. I’m sure you know those people who on January 1st every year list out the things they want to achieve for that year when they have not even tried to accomplish their goals for the previous year.

So to identify the areas in your life you need to develop the first thing you need to do is to ask yourself “what are the areas in my life that are very important to me and to well being and my existence.” these areas will be different for each of us, for me they are:
1. Physical health
2. Mental/emotional
3. Spiritual
4. Achievement/recreation
5. Financial
6. Relationships-romantic and family

Be careful not to get too hung up on names and what falls into what category, just write them down. This is really just to make it easier to decide on what you want to improve in your life and is by no means carved in stone.

What are your Personal Development goal for each Area
Once you have identified the important areas of your life write down everything that you would like to improve for each area as it relates to your personal growth. In most cases your development goal is going to be about either building on your existing strengths or developing new skills and competencies. So under ‘Physical’ you can state how you would like your body to look, do you need to join a gym today, stop eating meat, exercise five times a week and so on. The key here is to write down anything and everything that comes into mind, whatever you can imagine write it down. You can include short-term goals –something you may want to achieve this week and also long-term goals –things you want to achieve in twenty to twenty-five years. Make the goals ones that you can get excited about.

Put a Timeline on each goal
Once you have listed the goals for each area of your personal development you then have to take the time to put a time line on each goal. It’s not important right now to know how you are going to accomplish your goals. All you do right now is to write down a time frame within which you’ll want to operate. By deciding when you’ll achieve a goal providence comes to your aid in making them a reality. If one year is your time frame and you are committed to this then write down one year. If it’s five years then write down five years.

Begin with your one-year goal
You want to choose the one goal that you consider to be the most important in any of the areas you have identified, make it a goal that would give your great excitement and make you feel that your year was well spent if you were to accomplish it. Next write a paragraph or two stating why you are totally committed to achieving this goal within the year. Include why this is a must for you, what benefits will you gain by achieving it, what will you lose or miss if you didn’t achieve it. Whatever reasons you come up with ensure that they are strong enough to get you to follow through. If they are not, then come up with better and more empowering reasons or better goals.

Where are you now
Once you have determined what your one-year goal will be you start by analyzing where you are starting. This will become the “baseline” from where you measure your progress. A clear awareness of where you are now will help greatly in facilitating your development. If you find it hard to focus on this or to be honest with yourself you can ask for feed back from someone who knows you well and can be objective. You can ask your friends, family, or even your work colleagues as they are all observing you and are affected by the things you do and will therefore have some views about your skills. Ask them questions like:
“What am I good at”,
“What am I great at”,
“What do you think I could be better at”
Make sure they are specific in what they are saying to you. If you do not want a long drawn out epistle from your friends you can limit them to two or three comments.

If you choose to ask someone else pay careful attention to what they are saying as not everything you hear will be flattering to you and some comments will be useless to you. Note whatever is said keeping in mind that good feedback is always specific, clear and non-critical, so if someone says “you’re always doing crazy things’ this should not be take as feedback but criticism and you should total ignore it’s not worth your time.

Once you are done combine your thoughts and the feedback you get and make a list by writing down what you think were your strengths and weaknesses. You need to be honest with yourself here. Check to see if there are any patterns emerging from the comments.

The End Result
At this point what you do is to imagine what it would be like if you got up tomorrow morning and your was solved. Write down how you will feel, what you will be thinking and what it will be like. Make sure these statements are made in the affirmative and positive. So instead of writing “I feel o.k. about the way I’m dressing now” you should write “I fell happy and confident about my clothes and how they look on me”

Action Plan
Next you need to identify what you need to do to take you to where you want to be. This is the time to think creatively about what you need o do. There are wide range and a large number of resources out there, ready and waiting for you to use to take you in the right direction. There will be a mixture of self-study, formal training, informal training and “on the job” experiences. Only you will know what’s best for you, your budget and your lifestyle. So if your goal is to be physically then you will want to find out information on health and fitness. Your fist stop would be you doctor, and then maybe a trainer, then you need information on a gym that fits what you need. You get what I mean. After you have written down all the things you need to do put them in some order some that you know what you will be doing first and what’s next and so on. Break it down to its simplest task if possible. Take your time when doing your plan and one important point is that it doesn’t have to be perfect, so do not try and make it so.

Your Reward
Though not necessary you may want to include a series of rewards as you make progress and achieve the smaller goals. You can make it as simple as a slice of your favourite cheesecake after you have been working out for six weeks. For some people no extra incentives are required the improvement is reward enough but small rewards are a good idea still.

Review Your Plan
Once you have finished writing out you PDP it is always a good idea to review it. It’s a good idea to take a break away from your initial PDP of about five to a week then return to it and review it. When reviewing the plan you may also ask someone else to look it over and give their views. If there are any changes that you think are necessary make them.

Implement the Plan
Now that you have completed your PDP, it’s time to implement it. Start with the first task you must accomplish and keep going until all the tasks are finished. Each time you complete a task or do something you are not used to doing do a kind of short review. What did you do well and what could you have done better.

Review Your Progress
By checking your progress you will be able to reflect on what is working and what is not, so you can adjust your actions or change course if you are not achieving what you want. You have to decide how often you check on your progress, it could be every week, every month or every six weeks.

When you develop your own personal development plan and follow through with action it can be one of the most satisfying things you have ever done. It can even build your self-confidence and boost your self-esteem, as you will have a sense of surety about what you are about to do.

The key here is to take the whole process one step at a time. If you ever feel yourself getting overwhelmed, it could be a sign that you are taking on too much. Slow done and concentrate on one thing at a time. Now get going and enjoy the process.

To learn more about personal development then check out Bob Proctor's SGR Program it's simply fantastic. For info Click Here!

Only the Rich get Opportunities

2007-08-08T10:49:00.000-05:00

Whenever I talk to people on the street, in conference rooms, on the phone and in many other situations one of the major themes I hear from them is the belief they have which says that only the rich get the opportunities out there. Most of them who hold this belief find all the reasons why they believe what they believe, they come up with things like family contacts, being smarter, being born into the right community, and even the rich’s ability to use the opportunities that come their way because they have the financial backing.

I sometimes engage these folk in a discussion about their belief and I always begin by stating that great majorities of rich people were not rich at some point in their lives. Most were not born into riches, many were dirt poor or started out with very little but they all used the opportunities that came their way to benefit them. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Oprah Winfrey were not always a billionaires they came from modest and dirt poor backgrounds. Mr. Sangsters (of the Sangsters Book Store fame) started out poor he used to sell magazine from his bicycle back then. Billy Joel used to sleep in Laundromats at one point early in his career, in fact he even had suicidal thoughts early on when thing weren’t going well for him in those days.

You may not be able to get involved in certain businesses at certain times in a certain way but there are always other avenues open and available to you. So you may not be able to gain control of a major cellular phone company, as that field is very saturated. You however, could instead get in on the cellular accessories market or the phone card market. If you work in a sugar factory as a workman it is unlikely (although possible) that you’ll be able to become the owner of the factory any time soon. But what if you begin to think and act in a certain way that says opportunities abound, you can soon leave the factory and start a fish farm and become a producer of fresh water fish and sell to shops and supermarkets. This is an opportunity that is begging for investment as more and more people move away from eating meat. It’s not impossible.

You are poor not because there are no opportunities available to you. No one group of people has any monopoly on opportunities. You are poor because you failed to see and make use of the opportunities that come your way. You are poor because when no opportunity comes you do nothing to create your own opportunity.

People who have opportunities generally go out and seek it and if they can’t find it they create it. These people act and think differently from those who see no opportunity or believe that only the rich have the opportunities.

One of my favourite programs on television is called ‘The Big Idea’ on CNBC and hosted by Donny Deutsch. Every episode this program features people who are making millions of dollars with their business ideas and these people come up with some needed and in some cases very unusual products. What’s most fascinating about the people who appear on the program is that they are all ordinary people like you and me, from stay at home moms to garbage collectors to secretaries, to bus drivers, they all came up with product ideas, saw an opportunity and worked their buts off to make them reality. You all will do well to watch this program a couple of times, it’s a great motivator to get you look for opportunities out there and there are many.

You will remain where you are in life as long as you continue to think and do things the way you have always done them. You are not poor because money is in short supply, or because there is not enough wealth to go around, or because you are not smart or not smart enough. You are poor because you not do the things that will make you see and use your opportunities and become rich.

The Science of Getting Rich: Getting Rich the Scientific Way?

2007-07-11T18:32:00.000-05:00

If you pay attention to the people around you what you will find is that there are far too many persons who desire to be rich, or to get rich and at the same time believe they will never get rich for whatever reason. Usually what it really boils down to is the mere fact that they do not know what to do to get rich, or they may know some things but not others. They are unaware of the principles involved in getting rich and thus by extension the science of getting rich.

When Wallace D. Wattles release his book ‘the Science of Getting Rich’ in 1910, little did he know the impact it would have on many persons lives almost one hundred years later. According to Wattles (and I totally agree with him) there is a science of getting rich and in order to be rich every man must adhere to its principles.

Now what is the science, what are the principles of getting rich? The major principle, I believe, is a natural law which states that ‘like causes always produces like effects’. Therefore the people in this world who are rich, become and remain rich because they are doing things in a particular way whether consciously or unconsciously. Those who are not doing thing in this particular way, will remain poor no matter how hard or how long they work or how capable they are. This principle eliminates the excuse that the environment is why many are not rich. You see too many persons from poor backgrounds are rich or are becoming rich for this excuse to be true. It also eliminates the idea that doing things a particular way is only for persons with talent. No, no, no this can’t be it for there are many, many persons who possess great talent who continue to be poor, whilst others with little or no talent are getting rich every day. Let me repeat getting rich is the result of doing things a particular way. So if you are a plumber with similar skills to other plumbers in your area who are getting rich from plumbing while you are not then it will be because you are not doing things in the same way that the other plumbers are doing them.

The next principle is one that has over the last year or so, and still is, been getting a lot of attention. It is called The law of attraction and it has been made famous by Rhonda Byrne's book and DVD ‘The Secret’ which was featured on CNN and Oprah among other media programs. This principle states ‘Thoughts Become Things’. You see our world and everything in it first began with a thought. The thoughts that we think, are emitted vibrations broadcasted into the universe attracting to them vibrations of the same frequency which manifest what we come to see and experience in our physical world as our current reality. Man cannot shape a thing until he has first, thought that thing.

So if a person has the thought of a kitchen of a certain design and this thought is in line with the same frequency in the universe, it may not cause the kitchen to just instantly appear, but it would set in motion events and creative processes that will bring about the building of the kitchen to the specific design. For this reason it is important for us to communicate our thoughts to the universe if we are to cause the creation, or formation of the thing we think about.

The third principle is ‘The Law of Gratitude’ which is nothing more than giving thanks to God for his gifts. The more grateful we are as we focus our mind on God when good things come our way the more good things we will receive and the more quickly they will come. Gratitude draws our mind into closer link with God and His blessing. Many are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude. If you consistently and truthfully express your gratitude and it is strong enough then God’s reaction will also be consistent, strong and continuous. The things you want will always be moving toward you. When you live your life with gratitude you will find yourself focused on only the best and in turn this will bring to you only the best. Waste no time thinking or talking about the faults and flaws of others or even in you. Work instead on cultivating the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and give God thanks.

The fourth principle is that of Visualization of your desire and its attainment. You cannot transmit an idea unless you have it yourself. Visualization is about forming and holding a clear and definite mental picture of what it is you want. If it is you desire a brand new car, then it’s not good enough to visualize any old car. You must be more specific, in fact be as specific as possible. So instead you must see in your minds eye the car you want, the make and model, how it feels on the road, the colour, size of the wheel, its features, and even how you will feel driving it. You must see the thing you want as if it already exists, take possession of it in faith believing it is already yours and do not waiver for a moment in the faith that it is real.

The fifth principle is Personal Action. This arguably the second most important principle in the Science of Getting Rich for without action all your thoughts will mean and attain nothing. You must take definite action now. Your personal action, however, must be of such that you can rightly receive what you want when it comes. It makes no sense to desire something and not take some action towards its attainment, this will only lead to frustration leaving you feeling discouraged. There is a quote which says “He who desires but acts not breeds pestilence”. The way you think brings things to you but your by actions you receive them. You must act in a particular way such that you can appropriate what is yours when it comes to you. It does not matter what your situation is, whether it be favourable or not, you must not delay taking action. Wait not for favourable conditions. When you take personal action, do so with no thought of yesterday or tomorrow as your present action will be divided in your mind making you ineffective. So put your whole mind and body into the present action. Take action where you are now.

The last principle is that of Getting in the Right Business. You will do best in that business for which your abilities are best suited. That means it will be easier to succeed if you are in a business for which you are well equipped with the skills and mental tools. Bear in mind, however, that you can get rich in any business even if you do not possess the necessary talents because you can develop the skills needed as you go along. Also you can get rich most satisfactorily if you do that which you want to do. Doing what you want to do is at the core of what life is about. Now if you are in a business or situation that you do not want to be in but you have ‘no choice’ due to some obligation or responsibility like children to support, then do what you have to do. You can make the doing of it pleasing by knowing (reminding yourself) that it is making it possible for you to get to the doing of what you want to do. By making constructive use of the business you are already in and working in a particular way, you can get into the business you want. Always start from where you are.

The science of getting rich gives you the courage and the power to handle any circumstance that may obstruct your progress towards getting rich. Once you follow and obey the principles you cannot fail to get rich. Practice the instructions and you will surely get rich and you will do so in exact proportion to the definiteness of your vision, the fixity of your purpose, the steadiness of your faith and the depth of your gratitude.

To learn more about the science of getting rich then check out Bob Proctor's SGR Program it's simply fantastic. For info Click Here!

How to Beat Procrastination

2007-05-11T07:42:00.000-05:00

I suffered with procrastination for many years and I remember kicking myself whenever I left things undone, and I mean even things that were very important to me. Procrastination cost me my job back when I was in my twenties. This is a serious problem for many people and many of them have no idea how to address it. Beating procrastination is not going to be easy. If my own experience is anything to go by, then it’s going to be a challenge for most people. The key is to be disciplined and to stick to the plan.

Procrastination is usually the result of believing that the task you are to do is overwhelming or that the task is unpleasant. Now please recognize that there are many other causes of procrastination. The two I will address here are in my view the most common ones. What follows is a brief overview of what you can do to rid yourself of procrastination.

Whenever you’re tackling something that you view as unpleasant here is what I recommend:

Without hesitation get started on the task now. Just do it. Don’t over prepare just get started and figure things out or solve the problems that show up as you go along.
Remind yourself over and over again of the issues at staked if you don’t complete the task. Think about what it will cost you, your family, and your company.
Then think about and focus on the benefits of completing the task now. Ask yourself how you would feel once the task is done. Get excite about completing the task, give yourself some praise, tell yourself you are the King of Getting Thing Done! Shout it out. I actually did this when I decided to get a grip on my procrastination concerning unpleasant tasks. I feel like a fool initially but after awhile I began to get so motivated and excite about getting things done that it became a part of me. Now no matter where I am I will give off a big “YES!” when complete something, like writing this blog.

If you procrastinated on overwhelming tasks, like a project for work or school, or a meeting with major stakeholders in a company, here’s what I recommend:

Planning
Use the following steps to guide you:
• State Your Goal - write down your goal statement. Be as detailed as you can.
• Selection criteria - what features must your plan have to be successful?
• Generate strategies - figure out as many ways as you can that the goal could
be achieved. Research it. The more you know the less overwhelming the task
will seem and you will bring the task into perspective.
• Selecting a course of action - based on your selection criteria, pick a
strategy, your plan of action.
• Develop the chosen plan in more detail - detail the plan down to the task
level.
• Put the plan into action –breakdown the plan into simple tasks and do them.

When putting the plan into action it is good to use time blocks of about five to fifteen minutes at a time to do the task in. always start with the easiest part of the task as this will build up some momentum and as your momentum builds your procrastination will begin to retreat.

Just like I said above you also have to remind yourself over and over again of the issues at staked if you don’t complete the task. Try visualizing the consequences and how you will feel and react.

Setting a deadline is good in other areas of you life but with procrastination it’s Godsend. Once you have a deadline your mind, indeed your whole body gets tuned in to the desire to complete the task by that deadline. Once you have completed the task within the required time-span, you will feel a deep sense of accomplishment.
During the planning process it is always good to write out the steps in advance. As you come towards the end of one step, you automatically have the next step in mind, making it much more difficult to put the task off through procrastination.

Getting the help of others
• You can solicit the help of other (friends, family, and coworkers) by letting
them know about what you are doing or are about to do. Then at the end of the
day you tell them what you did or did not do. You can even have them remind
of the task you need to get done or check upon you to see if you are doing
it.

These few steps above are just a few of the ways in which you can beat procrastination. Give them a try and see what happens.

Success

2007-05-05T18:38:00.000-05:00

Saw this poem by Berton Braley a couple of years ago just thought i would share it:

Success

If you want a thing bad enough,
To go out and fight for it,
Work day and night for it,
Give up your time and your peace and sleep for it

If only desire of it
Makes you quite mad enough
Never to tire of it,
makes you hold all other things tawdry and cheap for it.

If like seems all empty and useless without it.
And all that you scheme and dream is about it.

If gladly you'll sweat for it.
Fret for it, Plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God for it.

If you simply go after that thing that you want.
With all your capacity,
Strength and sargacity,
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity.

If neither cold, famished and gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain,
of body or brain,
Can turn you away from the thing that you want.

If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,
You'll get it!

The Optimist Creed

2007-04-14T22:27:00.000-05:00

Have you ever read The Optimist Creed? It's powerful:

Promise Yourself-

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and
make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and
to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as
you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to
the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and
give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that
you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and
too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

How Quickly Can Change Happen?

2007-04-14T16:36:00.000-05:00

One of my great desires has always been to be able to change things in my life and that of others. I believe that it is in helping others that we all learn about ourselves. A major question I had asked myself early in life was can change happen in an instant. Now, I’m not talking about change in terms of things like "can I change the weather or move a mountain", no. What I am talking about is changing my behaviour and my emotional patterns.

I have come to the conclusion that change can happen in an instant. You see most of us, whenever change is necessary in our lives we generally take a long time to do it. Mostly that’s because we wait until certain events occur before we decide to make a change finally. Another reason why we think that change should take a long time is, we have tried and tried to change many times in the past through the use of willpower, and failed. So we assume from the experience that change, especially the important ones must be difficult to make and take a long time. The difficult in changing happens because we don’t know how to change effectively. No amount of will power by itself will create lasting change. One more reason why we don’t change instantly is the culture we live in. We give negative associations to changing instantly. If you change instantly in our culture it tends to mean that you never had a problem.

Consider what would happen if the person who you were deeply in love with left you suddenly. How soon cold you get over the loss? Well for all intent and purposes you could do it in a matter of hours because you have the capacity to do so. Yet you don’t because our culture dictates that we should ‘grieve’ for some amount of time. If two hours later you had declared or behaved like you were over the person people would think and believe you really didn’t love nor care for the person.

Many of us want to change things now, but our culture says if we change now we never really had a problem to begin with. We must take up the belief that we can change in an instant. Once we take control of those feelings that are conditioned to associate in our nervous system we take control of our lives. We develop our existing neuro-associations by indulging in behaviours and emotions consistently over and over again for long periods of time. It is these neuro-associations that will determine our behaviours and our emotions in any given moment. Whenever you engage in the behaviour of yelling at your kids, what happens is that the neural connection in your brain becomes stronger and hence the possibility that you will do it again. So if you would stop engaging in this behaviour long enough the neural connection will weaken and eventually disappear and the behaviour will also disappear with it.

If you were crying and someone held a gun to your head and said stop crying now, chances are we do so instantly. Similarly if we never ate vegetables in our life and our doctor said that we must start eating vegetable or we are going to die. I am sure the same day we would start eating vegetables.

In order for us to weaken or neuro-associations and thus allow change to occur in an instant we must link enormous pain to the behaviour we want to change and enormous pleasure to changing it. But before this can happen we must believe that something must change. We must also believe that we can change it and that we can change it! Your change is not the responsibility of someone else, it is your responsibility.

Auto-Suggestion

2007-04-12T13:05:00.000-05:00

Auto-suggestion a.k.a. self suggestion is a process by which a persons’ subconscious mind is trained to believe something, or systematically change that person's own mental associations, usually for a given purpose. This is done through self-hypnosis methods or repetitive, constant self-affirmations. The acceptance of autosuggestion by your subconscious mind is enhanced by the mental visualization of that which the person would like to believe. It is most successful when consistently used and the length of time over which it is used.

Autosuggestion is an integral part of prayer, meditation, and other such types of activities.

Most of us are making autosuggestions to ourselves on a daily basis, we are just unaware of it happening. Whatever your dominating thoughts are (whether positive or negative) in your conscious mind, autosuggestion will willingly reach the subconscious mind and influence it with these dominating thoughts. We all need to realize that we are in control over the information reaching our subconscious mind through our senses. Unfortunately, however, most of us do not exercise this control, which explains many peoples life of lack. Autosuggestion is a very powerful tool whether it’s used positively or negatively, so we must use it to our benefit at all times.

On a daily basis we all make statements like I’m an awful person, no one will love me, I hate school, I hate my coworkers, these are all negative autosuggestions to you subconscious mind, so when they become true in reality we end up lamenting our situation. Why not use the more positive autosuggestion like “I’m a wonderful person,” “everyone likes me”,” I love school”, and see what happens. It’s not easy to get rid of negative self-talk but you must keep trying, remember consistence is key.

How to apply the principle of autosuggestion:
1. Write down a clear statement of what it is you desire to have, be it money, a home, a car whatever it is write it down
2. Put a timeframe on it and say what it is you intend to do or give in return for your desired thing. Also write down a plan of how you intend to get it.
3. Read this statement aloud every night before you go to your bed and every morning when you arise. Repeat this every day until you see whatever you desire in your minds eye (your imagination).

It is very important to understand that the mere reading of the words of your statement will have no effect on your subconscious mind. You must mix emotion, or feeling into what you are saying. Your subconscious mind will only receive and act upon thoughts which have been mixed with great emotion of feelings. No, shouting it louder doesn’t mean any emotion is involved in what you are saying.

Another thing that may help you is to place a copy of your written statement in a location where you can see it when you wake up in the mornings (e.g. on a wall in your room).

Here’s an example of a statement you can use as your guide. It is not cast in stone you can make yours whatever you want it to be:
“I will earn $100000 by November 30, 2008 by becoming a manager of an advertising agency and give of my expertise. This will be done by acquiring the required education and experience and also making contact with the owners of the top agencies in the country”

In your day to day living if you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, stop yourself, don’t finish the words you are saying to yourself, replace it with a positive autosuggestion. Keep this up everyday and soon you’ll find that your life is much better. Make that commitment.

You Are What You Think

2007-04-11T09:04:00.000-05:00

Came across this poem recently, thought i would share it with you.

The Man Who Thinks He Can
--Walter D. Wintle

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win but think you can’t
It is almost certain you won’t

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a person’s will-
It’s all in the state of mind

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!!!

Faith

2007-04-11T08:26:00.000-05:00

“…..According to your faith be it unto you.”
--Matthew 9: 29

Faith is an emotion. It is one of the most powerful of all positive human emotions. It is the belief or trust in something of someone with or without any supporting evidence. To achieve your dreams you must have faith. Yes friends just like the song by the group Wham says “You gotta have Faith, faith, faith!”

Faith is never static, it is always moving. When you put faith to work, you’ve begun on the road to self-confidence, self-reliance and personal initiative. Whenever you overcome and dominate failure your faith becomes stronger and you are ready to deal with the next problem.

Those who don’t have faith in themselves are usually the ones who blame their family, their environment, or just lack for their failures or loss. These folks inability to focus on what it is that they want and act accordingly and realize that their solutions lie within themselves.

If you lack faith don’t complain about where you are in your life. Yes there will be times of failure, obstacle, loss and many other events that will be in your way. But with faith anyone can rise above any failure or obstacle. If you believe you can’t do something, then chances are you can’t. Why? Because, you simply lack the faith to accomplish it. Many people tell themselves they can’t do anything and that’s exactly what happens to them, they accomplish nothing.

How then do you develop faith? Well, the one way that has worked numerous time for me is the use of affirmations…yes, there , I said it..AFFIRMATIONS..and no I am not kidding you. When you repeat affirmations of orders to your subconscious mind over time, your mind will begin to accept and act upon them which in turn translates it into it’s physical equivalent (i.e. into reality). Now please be aware that merely repeating affirmations over and over again without any conviction or emotion will not work... No, No, No...This only works if you do your affirmations with lots of emotion and feelings.

One more thing, to help make your affirmations real conduct yourself the same way you would if you were already in possession of that which you desire. This helps to cement your faith..Try it, it works!

All Achievement Starts with Desire

2007-04-11T06:43:00.000-05:00

For many of us in order to soar to new heights of achievement we need to have a burning desire to achieve. It’s not enough to have defined what it is you want to achieve. It’s not enough to have a plan. It’s not enough to have taken action, all of this means nothing if your desire is not strong enough to make it happen. Your desire cannot be a mere wish or interest no, no, no it has to be a burning desire that takes over your whole being.

A young warrior wanted to know the secret of happiness, so he set out from his village to see a sage. When he found the sage in his hut he sat down and asked him what the secret to happiness and success is. The old man took the boy by his hand and without saying a word led him to a lake and continued to walk into the lake until the boy was fully submerged. At this point the boy began to struggle; the sage then led the boy back on land and to his hut. When they were seated the old man asked the young warrior” When you were under water what did you most want to do?” The young warrior replied “To breathe!” the sage then said “when you want happiness and success as badly as you wanted to breathe, then you will know the secret!”

The turning point in the lives of any achiever is that moment of crisis when they declare “enough!”, “I will no longer accept this” “I must conquer!” “I must succeed!” that’s when they develop the desire required to achieve.

To help you ensure that your desire is as strong as it must be, one technique often used by those who will not be denied is to cut off any means of escape or retreat. This means you have no choice, no options, and success then becomes a must.

It is said that Desire has energy. So, as you think about what you want, that desire builds strength. Energy follows wherever you focus your mind. The more focused and clear you are as to what you want deep down; the energy necessary to manifest it becomes stronger. Put your attention on your desire and you will attract that into your life.

The Twelve Major Causes of Failure

2007-04-10T22:20:00.000-05:00

In my short time on this earth I have identified what I consider the ten major causes of failure based on my own experience. I am fully aware that I could be wrong, so it’s not cast in stone. As you review my list check and see if you fall into any of them it may be an indication of what may be preventing you from achieving your goal.

1. No well defined purpose or goal in life.
2. Willingness to settle for mediocrity.
3. Lack of adequate or sufficient education.
4. Your hereditary background.
5. Procrastination.
6. Lack of persistence.
7. No self discipline.
8. Indecision.
9. Fear.
10. Selecting the wrong vocation
11. No concentration of effort.
12. No enthusiasm.

If you can, get someone who knows you well to review this list with you, to help in your analysis of yourself.

Your Plan: The Roadmap to Achieving Your Goal

2007-04-10T21:44:00.000-05:00

If you have decided what it is you want to achieve and have defined it and set a date to achieve it by, then you are one of the lucky few, congrats! You have reached further than most people who will be reading this.

So what’s next?

Your Plan!..Yes you need a plan of action. Your plan will take you from where you are now to where you want to be in the future. It is a step by step process for the achievement of your goal. Do not be intimidated or fooled by the whole process of a plan, your plan is not infinite…it guarantees you nothing and it is not cast in stone..it can’t be, or else you will get frustrated if your plan doesn’t evolve as you have written it. Your plan therefore, must be flexible it has to be, since things don’t always go as planned.

There are some key questions you should ask yourself when putting your plan together:
• What am I trying to achieve
• What do I need to get there (the is talking about resources both human and physical)
• What kind of person do I need to become in order to achieve my goal?
• What resources do I possess now?
• What is the first thing that I need to do right now?
• What’s the second thing I need to do?
• What’s my one month goal, my six month goal etc. how will I know I have reached my goals?

It is important that you break your overall plan into smaller day by day plans. That way your plan won’t seem overwhelming. Write down what you will achieve for each day and stick to it as bets as you can.

Bear in mind as you go through developing your plan the fact that no one has ever achieved their major goal in life without the help and cooperation of other people. That’s because no one person has enough experience, natural ability, knowledge and education to ensure the achievement of their goals.

As I have said before your plan should be flexible, but you should also be aware that if you plan is not working, never be afraid to change it, and try a new one. If the new plan fails to work, then try another one.

Take your time when putting your plan together; it doesn’t have to be perfect. Your plan however must be doable. If you need help in putting your plan together, ask one of your friends or get an advisor or a life coach. The key is to get your plan done, and remember it doesn’t have to be perfect.

Be Specific About what You want to Achieve!

2007-04-09T12:48:00.000-05:00

When we think about the things we want to achieve in life we all tend to think in a very general way.

What I mean is, we may, for instance, say we want to buy a new car or a new home, or study for our first degree. These are general goals. For you to achieve what you desire you must be specific, so instead of saying "I want to buy a car", say "I want to buy a 2007 BMW 318i sedan, black, tinted, 3 litre engine and leather upholstery." This is what being specific means.

It shows your brain that you know what you want to achieve and that this is not just something you are interested in. the key here is to think of what you want too achieve as an end result. How will it look, feel, sound, and smell!

The other part of being specific is to set a specific date of completion, be it six months, a year or ten years, whatever it is set a date. This will help you to focus on and develop steps that can lead you in the direction you want to go.

What Do You Want to Achieve?

2007-04-09T12:28:00.000-05:00

The most important question to ask yourself on the road to personal achievement is “What do I want to achieve?” For most of us this will be many, many things and for many others this will be just one particular thing. Your decision will be based on what’s happening to you now, what has happened to you in the past and what you would like to happen in the future.

When deciding on what you want to achieve it is best to compile a list of about 20 goals, and for each ask yourself “why do I want to achieve this?” and “how will achieving this goal impact on my life and those around me?” make sure you write down the answers to these questions and read them over a couple of times, making changes if necessary. By writing your goals down you give them meaning, your psyche makes them real for you.

Once you have read over your list, choose the goal that to you is urgent and that will have a great impact on your life. If you choose a goal that is not urgent with little or no impact on your life, chances are you will not act in a manner that will bring it to reality in a timely and desirous manner

A word of caution here, do not rush into your decision about what you want to achieve. I know at times time is of the essence but it is important that you make a true decision, so if you can, please take your time. You certainly don’t want to decide to achieve something only to find out later that it isn’t what you really wanted to achieve at all. That would be a horrible waste of time and effort.

Our Beliefs: What you Believe affects your Life!

2007-04-08T19:35:00.000-05:00

When we talk about a belief, what are we really talking about? Is Belief a thing? What is a belief? Well, in my view a belief is certainly not a thing as we cannot see it nor touch it. What it is, is a feeling of certainty about something. So if I say “I believe I’m a good singer”, then what that really means is “I feel certain I am a good singer”. It is when we hold a belief-our sense of certainty- that we open up infinite possibilities in our mind, we become able to access those resources that allow us to create the results we desire. Any lack of belief-doubt- does the opposite of this.

When I say “I believe I am a good singer”, how do I know this? For the most part I would have to have some references in life to support my assertion. It is those references that make my belief certain. So it’s possible that in the past my music teacher told me I was a good singer or being a soloist on my church choir made me feel I must be a good singer. I may have even compared my singing with a popular recording artistes’ and felt I sounded like them. All of this made me feel confident and caused me to believe that I am a good singer. The more references I have to back up my thought that I am a good singer, the stronger my belief in it will be.

Now it is important to point out here that your references do not have to be anywhere near accurate for us to use them. They can be totally inaccurate, real or imagined, they don’t even have to be our own experiences, they can be those of other people whether we know them or not.

We can create our own references where none existed before. Think of Sir Roger Bannister, in his day and for many years before, the belief on the planet was that a man could not run the mile in under four minutes. Yet on May 6, 1954 Bannister broke the four minute barrier. He did this by getting himself to create in his mind new references that commanded his nervous system to produce the results he wanted, he believed he could do it. The amazing thing about that feat was that one month after Bannister broke the four minute barrier his record was broken by John Landy and from that day to this day over 30,000 athletes including high school students have done it. They all now had a reference point. You see, Roger Bannister had the ability to get himself to feel certain that he could succeed even though no one else had ever accomplished it.

Now consider those amongst us who believe that events control their lives and that our environment has made us who we are. No, no, no people, perish that thought. It’s never the occurrences in our lives that make us who we are, but our beliefs about what those occurrences mean. Think about it, we all know of someone who has been through what we are going through or worse and have overcome it or changed things for the better. Friends, the difference between a coward and a brave person is their belief about what the situation they find themselves mean. Where the coward sees certain death, the brave person sees opportunity.

Too many of us seem to develop limiting beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of. Why? Because in the past we may never have succeeded at things, so we believe that we won’t succeed in the future. It’s in moments like these that we tend to talk about being realistic. Don’t be realistic my friends, ‘Your Past Doesn’t Equal Your Future’.

Do not walk through life believing that nothing you do can make things better or that things are pointless and will only lead to more pain. If you are not getting the result s you want in your life, ask yourself, “what would I have to believe in order to succeed here?” You can also challenge you present belief, ask yourself “what is it going to cost me emotionally, physically, financially and in my relationships if I do not let go of this belief?”. Once you have challenged your belief always ask yourself “what would I have to believe in order to get the results I want?”. Let me leave you with this quote,

“The belief that becomes truth for me….is that
Which allows me the best use of my strength, the best
Means of putting my virues into action”---Andre Gide

Getting Yourself to Take Action

2007-03-28T20:08:00.000-05:00

If you want to Achieve anything in life it cannot be done unless you take Action.

Have you ever been in a situation where you know you should do something but for some strange reason you just can’t get yourself to do it. Chances are you have. For so many of us who talk and think about the things we need to do to change things in our lives, yet we can’t seem to get ourselves to follow through, this can be a nightmare. We end up feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and angry with ourselves because we know we should take action to achieve our goal but can’t get ourselves to do it. I know what this feels like because it has happened to me many times for many years.

What causes us to behave in this manner? Well, the short version is that everything we do, we do to get away from some perceived pain or to get some perceived pleasure. Consider this situation. You know you should do something but you still don’t do it. This is because deep down you believe that taking action right now would be more painful than putting it off. I remember whenever I had to ask my parents for stuff or tell them some bad news, I would pace up and down in my room ,talking to myself to go do it but after a long time finally deciding to not do it and feeling relieved for the moment that I didn’t do it. I would end up later feeling angry with myself. For lots of us when we put something off for so long we end up reaching that point where suddenly we have to do it now, we have to get it done..Now! It is at that point that you have changed what you linked pain and pleasure to and now not taking action is more painful to you than putting it off.

The reason I do not drink beyond one glass of any alcoholic beverage is the pain I associate with being drunk and losing control of my faculties, things like vomiting, inability to stand or walk, loss of memory, etc., I’ve been drunk in the distant past and woke up the next morning not remembering what happened the night before and that scared me. My pleasure comes from being in control of me, my body and mind. It is terrifying to go through the things I see people who get drunk go through,..Hell No!!

So what happens to those people who can experience great pain but fail to take action to change things, I hear you say? Simple, they just haven’t experienced enough pain yet, they haven’t reached that level of pain to cause them to say “No More, Enough, This must Change Now!!!”, then and only then will they take action. You see some people wait until things get so bad that we have no other option but to take action immediately.

To get ourselves to take action we must associate severe pain to not taking action and extreme pleasure to taking action now.

How to Get Ourselves to Take Action:
• Write down an action that you need to take that you have been putting off- e.g. writing that novel that’s inside you.
• Then ask yourself the following questions and answer them in detail and honestly.
a) Why haven’t I taken action?
b) I the past what pain have I associated to taking this action?
These questions will assist you in understanding that you have associated
greater pain to taking the action than to not taking it.

• Write down all the pleasure you’ve gained in the past by engaging in this negative state. You wanna lose weight then why are you continuing to eat those Brownies. Why, because it gives you instant pleasure and makes you fell good right now.

• Write down what it will cost you if you don’t take action right now. Answer these questions:
a) What will happen if you don’t take action now? So what will happen if you don’t stop eating Brownies, or begin writing that novel, or study for that test? Be honest.
b) What is it going to cost you in the long run? i.e. over the next year and beyond.
c) What will it cost you on an emotional level.
d) How does that make you feel? When answering this question please put some feelings into it.
• Write down all the pleasure you will get by taking action right now. Put together a large list that will irk you on a deeply emotional level.

I know we all won’t always have time to do all of this in certain situation. But the principle remains the same we must associate severe pain to not taking action and extreme pleasure to taking action now.

Make a True Decision

2007-03-26T17:24:00.000-05:00

You can never achieve what you want to achieve in life until you have made a True Decision!!!

You see it’s our decisions that determine what actions we take and in the long run who we become. Everything that occurs in our lives, the good and the not so good, all began with a decision, even when we have not made a decision by doing nothing we have made a decision. So your decision not to call a potential employer about a job you are well qualified for and you find yourself still unemployed has determined where you are now in your working life. So your decisions shape your destiny. By making decisions today about how we’re going to live our lives tomorrow and into the future, we can make our lives into what we want it to be.

Now we can make all the decisions we want but if we are not committed to achieving it, then certainly we can’t expect anything to happen can we. Of course not, for your decision would have been mere wishes about things you are just interested in or prefer, hence no conviction, no power.

We should therefore make a True Decision i.e. making a decision and committing yourself to achieving the desired outcome no matter what. Friends, when you Truly Decide to say lose weight, then that’s it, you will no longer indulge in activities that contradict that decision. It’s a done deal! You cut yourself off from any other possibility, no compromises. You just Do It!

Now when making a True Decision you cannot say to yourself and the world “I would like to lose some weight” no, no, no there is no power in that! What you must say is “I am going to lose 10lbs in twenty-one days!” That’s a true decision.
One of the main problems we all have is that we all are afraid of making the wrong decisions. Well guess what, no matter what you do you are going to make wrong decisions in your life. Yes, you will mess up! For sure I have and many times too. No one ever makes all the right decisions so don’t you expect to. The key is to be flexible and look at the resulting consequences, learn from them and use what you have learnt to make better decisions.

So how can we make True Decisions? Here are seven keys that can help you:
• Remember True Decisions set you on the path to achieving your goal.
• Be committed- without it your decision are just wishes
• Take action- once a decision has been make immediately do something towards your goal being realized.
• Make decision often- the more decision you make the better you will become at making them.
• Be flexible if things are not working out don’t be afraid to consider and look at other alternatives. Just don’t get stuck on one route.
• Don’t wait on every bit of information. Too much info can be harmful
• Learn from each decision- when you don’t make the right decision don’t pout or beat yourself up. Find out what you can learn from it.

Try these consistently over the next month or so and see what happens.

Good Luck!!

What Am I to Do With My Life?

2007-03-20T11:29:00.000-05:00

What are we here to do?

Why am i here?

These are questions we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives, i know i have ever since i was 12 years old. For me when i was younger my answer was "i'm here to make people smile". As i grew older it became " To make people feel good about themselves and realise that they are better than what they think they are". Each of us have to answer the question for ourselves. As you think about it consider the following:

Whatever it is, it is in line with the essence of who and what we are
We have total faith and belief in it
It is our Life's Vision
We derive great Joy and Happiness From it
It is something you would do for free (i know this one is hard to swallow)

You see your calling is what gives every aspect of your life meaning, you feel alive. What you will find is that it is something that deep down you know you must do because you"ve always had an interest in it. Your success in life is tied up in your calling. It is going to be a simple and fairly easy route to follow.

Your unhappiness with your life may be tied soley to your denial of what makes you happy. When you decide to follow what make you globally happy (and not what make you happy for the moment) you will find that life becomes easier and things seem to fall into place . You will find that you can handle your problems better as they arise and even plan for some before they arise. You begin to become a better person because of it.

Think about this friends! As you go through life each day, week after week and year after year, what is it that we all really want? Answer, to find something we can be absolutely passionate about. Something that when we arise in the morning we can't wait to get started. Something that no matter how bad things are it always brings us great joy! Someone once said "Do the things you love and love will be in everything you do".

Now one thing about your calling is that is that it may something that you end up growing into. I was 35 years old before i realised and accepted my calling, it's not that i did'nt see it when i was growing up, at different times i did, but for whatever reason i chose to ignore it. So don't be too frightened if you can't decide, just keep searching it will reveal itself to you..the signs are everywhere.

Now sit down my friends and decide what you want to do with your Life!

Welcome to 'Create your Future'

2007-03-20T10:38:00.000-05:00

Create Your Future!!
Sounds simple enough doesn't it? Well for most of us it isn't, we live a life of ups and downs where our highs linger behind our lows. Can you remember a time in your life when you believed you could do almost anything or that you could achieve your dreams?

Are you living your dreams now? What happened? If you are like me then you might say something like .."well life got in the way" . Yes at some time or other we all enter the 'Boulevard of broken dreams' and though some of us get of that road too many of us stay on it. When we consider all the dashed hopes, personal despair, and our perceived constant failure at things that occur in life it's no wonder many people lose hope and end up believing that their life is set.

Yet the irony is that we all possess the ability to Create our Future...YES believe it or not we do! The thing is, we don't know what to do to Create our Future, it was never taught in school, and that's what this Blog is about. I'm here to help you Create your Future if i can, think of me like a coach. I'll admit i don't know everything, but hopefully you will learn something from what i write that can help you to Create Your Future! So enjoy.

"The key to realizing a Dream
is to focus not on success, but significance--
and then even the small steps and little victories along your path
will take on greater meaning."
----Oprah Winfrey